Building Positive Self Talk for Confidence and Self Esteem with Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes
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Identify the function of negative self talk
Explain the benefits of positive self talk
Describe 15 methods for teaching positive self talk to people of all ages
Benefits of Positive Self Talk
Reduced cortisol and HPA-Axis activation
Improved physical health (Less stress-related disease)
Greater life satisfaction
Unconditional Positive Regard
From attachment figures who teach positive talk
Encourage the use of the phrase “I love you even if…”
I have the ability to… (things you do)
I am… (inner qualities)
Keep a daily journal or account of your successes, good qualities and accomplishments
What you say to yourself
Don’t wait until you are stressed. Practice positive self talk throughout the day—Every day (Positive Thinking Apps)
Mantras I am capable. I am lovable.
Visualization helps people’s brains “see” how they can succeed (or fail)
Negative self talk “teaches” the brain that negative things will happen which increases anxiety and distress, reduces concentration and increases a sense of helplessness.
Positive self-talk helps people’s brains “see” that
Success is possible
Happiness is possible
The person has power
Visualizations combined with desensitization help reduce anxiety and distress around…
watch others who are successful and/or role play then use that data to visualize.
Surround yourself with positivity
Parents model positivity
Listen to positive song
Have family members bring a positive quote or song (lyrics) with them to dinner once a week and put it on the fridge.
Give yourself a pep talk every morning.
Keep a success wall/scrapbook
Focus on being the best person you can be that day, and better than the day before.
What do you do well?
What did you do well yesterday?
What could you do better on today?
Global negative statements generally start with
Focus on your language.
How different does it feel to say
“I am stupid” vs. “I am stupid at math.”
“I am ugly” vs. “I look bad in this outfit”
“I am useless” vs. “I am not sure how I contribute to this situation”
“I must be the best” vs. “I must be the best that I can be”
Locus of Control
Too internal means you try to control EVERYTHING
Identify parts of the situation you did NOT have control over
Minimization of the Positive
Too often people focus on what went wrong or what they don’t have. (evaluations, money, relationships)
Spend 10 minutes each day focusing on what went right
Find the silver lining in the bad
Remember all the other things that are okay, even when one thing goes awry.
All or Nothing Thinking
These self statements usually contain the words always, never, every, nobody, etc.
Look for exceptions and what is different
Encourage people to
Find 3 alternate explanations
Evaluate the facts of the situation
Check for all or nothing thinking
See if they are confusing high and low probability events
Fear of Failure / Inner Critic
This voice heckles people from the back of their mind telling them they are inadequate or incapable.
Encourage people to change self limiting statements to challenging questions
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