Building Positive Self Talk for Confidence and Self Esteem with Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

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Objectives
 Identify the function of negative self talk
 Explain the benefits of positive self talk
 Describe 15 methods for teaching positive self talk to people of all ages
Benefits of Positive Self Talk
 Reduced cortisol and HPA-Axis activation
 Reduced pain
 Improved physical health (Less stress-related disease)
 Increased energy
 Greater life satisfaction
 Improved immunity
Unconditional Positive Regard
 From attachment figures who teach positive talk
 From self
 Encourage the use of the phrase “I love you even if…”
Self Awareness
 I have the ability to… (things you do)
 I am… (inner qualities)
 Keep a daily journal or account of your successes, good qualities and accomplishments
 What you say to yourself
Mantras
 Don’t wait until you are stressed. Practice positive self talk throughout the day—Every day (Positive Thinking Apps)
 Mantras I am capable. I am lovable.
Visualization
 Visualization helps people’s brains “see” how they can succeed (or fail)
 Negative self talk “teaches” the brain that negative things will happen which increases anxiety and distress, reduces concentration and increases a sense of helplessness.
 Positive self-talk helps people’s brains “see” that
 Success is possible
 Happiness is possible
 The person has power
Visualization
 Visualizations combined with desensitization help reduce anxiety and distress around…
watch others who are successful and/or role play then use that data to visualize.
Environments
 Surround yourself with positivity
 Parents model positivity
 Listen to positive song
 Have family members bring a positive quote or song (lyrics) with them to dinner once a week and put it on the fridge.
 Give yourself a pep talk every morning.
 Keep a success wall/scrapbook

Self-Other Comparisons
 Focus on being the best person you can be that day, and better than the day before.
 What do you do well?
 What did you do well yesterday?
 What could you do better on today?
Global Statements
 Global negative statements generally start with
 I am…
 I must…
 Focus on your language.
 How different does it feel to say
 “I am stupid” vs. “I am stupid at math.”
 “I am ugly” vs. “I look bad in this outfit”
 “I am useless” vs. “I am not sure how I contribute to this situation”
 “I must be the best” vs. “I must be the best that I can be”
Locus of Control
 Too internal means you try to control EVERYTHING
 Identify parts of the situation you did NOT have control over

Minimization of the Positive
 Too often people focus on what went wrong or what they don’t have. (evaluations, money, relationships)
 Spend 10 minutes each day focusing on what went right
 Find the silver lining in the bad
 Remember all the other things that are okay, even when one thing goes awry.
All or Nothing Thinking
 These self statements usually contain the words always, never, every, nobody, etc.
 Look for exceptions and what is different

Emotional Reasoning
 Encourage people to
 Find 3 alternate explanations
 Evaluate the facts of the situation
 Check for all or nothing thinking
 See if they are confusing high and low probability events
Fear of Failure / Inner Critic
 This voice heckles people from the back of their mind telling them they are inadequate or incapable.
 Encourage people to change self limiting statements to challenging questions

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